I'm confident 2020 is a year we can all agree is one to be remembered! It will be a year that will go into the history books and be talked about among generations. No matter your thoughts on 2020, I think in some aspects, it forced us to slow down a bit, to spend time with our families in ways we may not typically have. We also had to become creative about connecting with friends and family for some self-love; you may call it self-care. 

I am an advocate of self-care! I would love to say I consistently make time for it in my life, but I do not. I'm working on it. My struggles with self-care are planning it. I know how valuable self-care is, based on articles, blogs, my own life, and shared stories from others. I want to share what I have learned over the years and what I am implementing in my own life. 

I want to encourage you and myself to be intentional about investing in yourself. Don't leave it to chance, don't wait at the perfect time; don't wait until you get the invite. You have to be proactive. Sometimes the challenge with implementing self-care is that we feel it has to be a certain length of time or present itself in a particular way. If we wait for these things to happen, it probably won't happen or happen as often as we need it to. 

I love getting together with friends and family and taking a break from the everyday responsibilities that wait for me to wake up each morning as I roll out of bed. We need to make time to connect with others! You have heard it 1001 times, so let this be 1002; we are wired for connection. So go ahead and connect; it's good for the soul. What's also good for the soul is quality time alone. It still may be a challenge to find that solo time, especially with the current state of the pandemic, at the time of writing this. However, the need for self-care and solo time doesn't change. The holidays are approaching. Even if the holidays look a tad bit different this year, it is upon us. The holiday season can be chaotic, but that doesn't mean it has to be stressful. Nor does it mean you can't fit in some quality time alone. 

Spending time alone may require a new perspective. It may require some thinking outside of the box, depending on your situation. 

Spending time alone allows you to calm down, regulate emotions, better understand yourself and your priorities. Taking time to be by yourself benefits the relationships in your life. It's also a time that allows you to evaluate relationships in your life and determine any needed changes. To access what boundaries you may need in your life. that need to be made or boundaries put in place. It's a great time to reflect on your goals and priorities and access if you are in alignment. It's merely an excellent time to get to know yourself better. It's challenging to reflect when you are engaged in conversations or entertaining deeply. It's also challenging to do when you are distracted by TV, cell phone notifications, and email. It's simply good practice to have uninterrupted moments alone with the person you greatly value-yourself.

One of the major obstacles to maximizing your success and happiness is a lack of self-awareness. You know your friends’ flaws better than they do. It’s human nature to not have an accurate view of yourself. It is not possible to 100% aware of yourself, because we all have blind spots. 

Sometimes we’d rather stick our heads in the sand and remain oblivious to our shortcomings. We’d prefer to believe that we’re unlucky rather than taking the wrong approach.

This presents a huge challenge, because if you can’t see yourself and your behaviors accurately, how can you grow and evolve optimally?

If you’re brave enough to develop a keen sense of self-awareness, you’ll be more likely to have a successful and rewarding life.

Try these techniques to learn more about yourself:

1. List your values. Taking an hour to identify and prioritize your values will tell you a lot about yourself. You’re bound to find a few surprises if you take the time to do this exercise.
   
   
2. Write down your goals. Defining what you’d like to have, do, and experience in your lifetime is also very revealing. Most of us are too busy surviving from one day to the next to consider our goals. Make time to determine the type of life you want to experience, and you’ll become more self-aware.
   
   
3. Keep a journal. There are entire books written about journaling. Read one of them and develop your own journaling process. Writing is different from the incessant chatter happening between your ears all day long. Self-awareness is only a notebook and a pen away.
   
   
4. Have a heart-to-heart with a close friend. Your friends and family know more about you than you know about yourself. They can see your flaws and strengths quite clearly. Be brave and ask them to tell you about yourself.
   
   
5. Meditate. If you want to understand your mind, meditate. You’ll be shocked by what you find. Meditation is great for your physical health, emotional health, and self-awareness. Thirty minutes a day will reveal a lot about you.
   
   
6. Use your imagination. Imagine you’re a fly on the wall and visualize how you interact with others. Remember both stressful and happy experiences. How do you think your coworkers, friends, family, neighbors, and others view you? How do you come across? How do you think a stranger in the store views you?
   
   
7. Take personality tests. There are many personality and aptitude tests available online, many of them for free. Take these tests and see what they have to say about you. Before dismissing anything that seems way off base, really think about it. Then, ask a close friend if they think the assessment is accurate.
   
   
8. Identify the traits in others that bother you. What do you dislike about others? What does this say about you? Try to be objective and see if you have these same traits. We are often turned off by people that exhibit characteristics we don’t like in ourselves.

How self-aware are you? Do you know how others view you? Do you understand your flaws? What are your greatest strengths? In what type of environment do you thrive? What are your values? What are your goals? How did you contribute to the failure of your past relationships?
If you can’t answer these questions quickly and easily, developing greater self-awareness will benefit you. Until you understand yourself well, your life will appear to be determined by forces beyond your control.

Become more self-aware and regain mastery over your life!