This word has been jumping off of pages for me, the first half of 2021. I have learned over the years that when things keep showing up like that, I need to pay attention. Willing is my word for 2021. God first revealed the word to me at the end of 2020, but I missed it. In Luke 5, Jesus calls His first disciples. The word willing was not in the story, but it was the heart of Simon Peter. His actions demonstrated willingness. One of the definitions of willing in the dictionary is prompt to act or respond. In verse 11, it says, "So they pulled their boats up on the shore, left everything and followed him." Simon was WILLING to leave everything to follow Jesus. He left a job he had been during for years. He also left what appears to be one of the biggest fish he had ever caught. I honestly don't think Simon knew what following Jesus would entail, but he trusted Jesus enough and was WILLING to leave it all on the shore and follow him.


He had a willing heart. 


There are other biblical examples where someone demonstrated a willing heart. They were given a command and, despite not having all the answers or doubting their ability to perform the task, or having uncertainty on how to accomplish the task, they did what was asked of them.  


What is God asking you to do that you haven't done yet? I have found this question to be an excellent starting point for reflection. This question causes me to take a step back and do a self-assessment. It's a high likelihood that if you aren't doing what God has already commanded you to do, you won't be willing to do the things He will require of you to obtain what you are praying for or necessary to go to your next level. 


Do you have a willing heart? 
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God may not ask you to leave a large catch of fish on the seashore; however, He will ask something of you.  


Again I ask, are you willing? Do you have a willing heart?

In my journey, I have discovered that my desires don't always match my willingness. For example, I have desired to get in shape and tone up. Yet, my willingness to eat better and work out regularly is not there. This mismatch of desire and willingness consistently resulted in me not reaching my desired goal. On the other side, I have also given a proverbial yes to doing what's required to achieve something, but I wasn't willing when it was time to do what was required.


For example, I desired increased self-awareness and personal growth. I said I was ready to do the work on myself and dig deep. As I started on the journey and the time came to dig in, do the work, and go deeper, I wasn't willing. Eventually, when I was ready, I was able to begin to attain what I was desiring. 

In 2019 I had the opportunity to teach a class called, Heal the Hurts at the Las Vegas Natural Hair and Wellness Expo. I was excited about this opportunity and talk. What I didn't know was the journey and work God would require me to deliver to the talk. I WAS NOT ready. It wasn't that I hadn't attempted to heal my past hurts; I just hadn't dug deep enough. The days leading up to the class were long and sometimes filled with tears, frustration, disbelief...silence. Yet they were wrapped in love, comfort, and promises from my heavenly father. I dug deep, but I stopped too soon. More work was required. 
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You see, healing the hurts in your life is vital because our hurts, if not addressed or correctly addressed, begin to shape our personalities. Soon we start acting a certain way and telling others and ourselves, that's just how I am. NO! That is how and who you have become as a result of unaddressed hurts. It is not who God created you to be! It's impacting your ability to fully live and embrace the life He desires for you to live. 

While there was no pain from my past hurts, they very much had impacted my present.

• The hurts impacted the words that I spoke to myself internally and externally and to others. 
• The hurts impacted the thoughts I had about myself, my life, situations I found myself in or not.
• The hurts impacted the quality of the relationships in my life to include the most important one--my relationship with God.
• The hurts impacted and impaired my vision of myself, my world, my circumstances. 

My hurts while in my past and not causing any noticeable pain were still hurting me. The injury may have healed, but that doesn't mean it healed properly. I was walking with a limp, my posture wasn't quite right, I didn't have the full range of motion in my arms, my hands had limited functionality, my eyesight was slightly diminished….I assumed because I was doing all the things, having success, having fruitful relationships that I was good to go. I had been functioning at this level for so long that I didn't even notice my diminished functionality. 

Over the last eight or nine months I have really taken to journaling. It is at a point now that, when I go a while with out writing I can tell the difference in my mood and how I handle things. ​

In our Purposed for a Purpose Facebook Group, I took a poll and asked if people journaled or not and most said they do or at some point have. There were others that did not journal at all. Journaling has been around for a while and most have journaled, especially as a little girl. When we were younger we called it a diary. As we got older, I guess we change the name, but the idea is still the same.

Journaling is great for your mental, physical, and emotional health. In the coming months I will be sharing more about journaling, the benefits, methods and tips to getting starting and making it effective.

Today I want to share with you how I use and you too can use journaling in your quiet time with God. Journaling provides you the opportunity to:

1. Take hold of our thoughts- 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. The unaddressed thoughts that float around in our heads have an effect on how we behave and how we think about things. Journaling your thoughts can really help you examine them. Write your thoughts down and assess how they line up against God’s word. Is this a truth, or a lie based on the Word of God? You can take this process a step further and record scriptures to support the truth for later reference. Ask yourself, Is what I am thinking evidence of me being a child of God? How will this thought contribute to me bearing good fruit or bad fruit?  Depending on the thoughts, I would encourage you to ask yourself if your thoughts support your faith in God’s ability or your ability? Philippians 4:8 tells us that we are to “think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable.” Many times, after I write down what I am thinking and go back and read, I find myself thinking, “What were you thinking, girl?” or “Why are you even worried about this situation in the first place?”  Seeing our thoughts on paper is different then having them in our head. After you have record your thoughts and determined that some are not true, noble, right, pure or love, pray and ask God to show you truth—to help you refocus your mind. Ask Him to safeguard your mind if you start to have those thoughts again by helping you to remember His word.  
2. Conversation with God on paper/pour out our heart- I use journaling as a way to talk to God in my quiet time. Sometimes it’s an intentional effort. Other times it starts from me simply writing my thoughts about my devotional or about what’s going on in my life at the time. Either way, I start writing and find that I am pages deep—pouring out my heart to my Heavenly Father and giving him all the things that were bothering me or just sharing how I am feeling. If I am being honest, sometimes this feels easier than the formal way of praying. Now this could be a Janita thing, but we can get in our head about prayer, thinking it has to be or sound a certain way. But this isn’t true—God wants us to come to him in our authentic state, mask off. He wants us to speak to him from our heart. When we write, especially in free flow, we aren’t tuned into the thoughts as much by correcting and making sure they sound right. We just write, flowing from within onto the pages uninhibited.  
3. Prayer: This passage and the previous passage can go hand and hand. As I mentioned before, oftentimes I find that writing what I am feeling leads to a written  prayer. A written prayer is a prayer nonetheless.  What I enjoy about writing out prayers is that you can go back and read them and recollect how God answered them. It serves as written track record and testimony to how faithful God is. When you find yourself in difficult situations or in a time when your faith is wavering, look back and see how God answered and showed up in the past. I know that journals can be private, but let’s say that your prayer journal was one that you openly shared or that your great grandchildren found. It could be a tool that God uses to plant a seed or nurture a seed in their life, drawing them into relationship with him or to a closer relationship with him, because they can see real life evidence of how he worked in your life. Because God does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11), what he will do for one, he will do for another.  
4. Meditate and memorize God’s word--I once heard a saying, God’s word close at hand does mean close at heart. This means that just because we have God’s word close by, accessible, that does not mean it is in our heart. It’s similar to when you are in church or listening to a good podcast and take notes; however, you never go back and read it in order to really digest what was said. Using a journal can help you to meditate on God’s word and memorize it, if we are intentional about it. You have to be intentional about going back and revisiting what you wrote down and going over the scriptures. Many times when I am doing my devotional, there are 1-2 scriptures that really stand out. I don’t always know why, but I write them down and re-read them a few times thinking about their meaning. I am also listening for God to speak to me as it relates to those scriptures and their application to my life. I don’t always hear God speak right in that moment or discern what the scripture means, but over time I get there. When comes to understanding a scripture, I suggest looking at other translations (e.g. Amplified, NLT, etc). Doing this can help you gain better understanding of what you are reading.  Once you write it, meditate on it, ask God for wisdom. Revisit your writing to really let God’s word be ‘close at heart’ too. In memorizing scripture, take a verse of two and write on notecard. Recite it to yourself throughout the day/week to help you memorize God’s word. Place them in places you will see them throughout the day as a reminder. Psalms 1:2-3 tells us that if we meditate on God’s word, we will be like a tree planted by the river and we will bear fruit and not wither. When we meditate on God’s word and memorize it we become more equipped to speak God’s word over ourselves and circumstances. Side note—don’t get so caught up in word for word, paraphrasing is ok as long as the meaning stays the same. We also encourage others, empowering them to embrace who they are. Memorizing God’s word will also help with taking your thought captive, as mentioned in passage one.  
5. Hear God speak - In general, journaling declutters our mind. We have so many thoughts that run through our head on a daily basis and some of them are on repeat, depending on the topic and the “seriousness” of a situation. If we don’t get the thoughts out we can become consumed giving them most of our attention. When we become consumed or focused on the thoughts, it can challenge our ability to hear God speaking to us. He could be giving you instructions, guidance or answers to a prayer, but because of the mental clutter we can't hear him clearly.  Journaling acts as an emotional and mental release. It can help you see the problem clearly by decreasing the distractions because when you “brain dump” it feels like a weight has been lifted. When we aren’t distracted we are more likely to hear God when he speaks.

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Journaling is good for you. It can positively impact the relationships in your life to include the most important one—your relationship with God. You can journal for many reasons, but if you looking for a place to start, I encourage you to try journaling during your quiet time with God. Regardless if you journal or not, incorporating journaling in your quiet time with God will help in developing and strengthen your relationship with God, which is what God desires of his children.

Until Next Time~
​J. Branch 

In July, I went in for my regular six-month check-up with my doctor. All of my appointments end the same, with no surprising discoveries and the scheduling of my next appointment in six months. However, this appointment went a little different—by the end of the visit, a fairly major surgery had been scheduled. I was okay with the surgery, trusting that God would take care of me as he did four years before when we found the malignant tumor.

In the weeks following that appointment, God realized to me on two separate occasions that I would not have the surgery! Logically, I couldn't understand how this revelation would come to  fruition. With the things that I read online, the physical evidence, and the input of others, mostly contradicted what God had said, it was difficult to understand how I would end up not having the surgery. I knew that God could heal and could perform miracles. I prayerfully petitioned for wonders on others and believed it could happen, but could it happen to me?  It came down to what I would choose to believe. Would I believe God, others, or myself and what my eyes could see and what I could understand? 

The doctors scheduled my surgery for the first week of September. But the week before the surgery, Hurricane Dorian struck the US, causing all operations to be postponed a least a week. We rescheduled the surgery for October. I had no idea how God was going to move, and I struggled at times with my faith.  I wanted a sign that the Lord was operating. Realistically speaking, if he gave me a sign, would it have required faith? Nah!  I had to trust God with no indications. Before the rescheduled surgery, I requested an ultrasound. The doctor's office couldn't understand why I needed or wanted it, but they scheduled it anyway.  It was at that appointment the reason for the proposed surgery was revealed; it wasn't required! Instead of a significant operation with a 6-12 week recovery, I only needed an outpatient procedure with a week recovery! It was ALL God! There wasn't anything that I could have done to bring about this change. Two days after my surgery, I received a call with the pathology results—EVERYTHING was NORMAL. Thank you, God! 

When God spoke to me and said I wasn't having the surgery, he meant the specific surgery the doctor wanted to perform.  I spent many weeks trying to figure out what he meant by that. I had ideas and suggestions on how He could make that happen, but the truth is God didn't need my help, opinions, or recommendations. He is God, all by himself. It wasn't for me to figure out, but simply to trust Him based solely on his character and the word He spoke. 

There were times when doubt would try to creep in, and I would have a little anxiety because of the unknown. The uncertainty of the details would cause me to become a bit uneasy.  In those times, I would respond with, "God said I'm not having the surgery." God's word trumps my fears and anxieties! It all comes down to whether I trust God or not.  God does not lie, and His word will not return to Him empty (Isaiah 55:11).

If God gives you a word, hold on to it! Things at times will seem not to line up. Logically you may not be able to make sense of it. But hold on to His word. If God said it, then that's all you need to know. The enemy will try in different ways to cause you to doubt, but remind Him of what God says and "walk" away. Don't entertain it.  If you resist the enemy, He will flee (James 4:7). 


Until Next Time~
XO
J.Branch