Have you ever said you don't have time? I know I have! It's a commonly said thing. There are 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week. We may not use the entire 24 hours when we factor in our sleep. If you get 6 hours of sleep, then you have 126 hours in a week. Time is a resource, just like money, and we spend it daily. We may not be aware of how we spend it, but we spend it. When it comes to tangible resources like currency, it can be a little easier to see when spending. Our bank accounts let us know when we have spent too much. When my husband and I wanted to become better stewards of our money, we looked are how we were spending it. We found that it wasn't that we didn't have the money, but we were overspending or spending in the wrong places.
The same I found to be accurate with time. When I looked at it, and I mean really looked at how I spent my time...I had it, I have it...I just am not stewarding it the best way. When I really got intentional about my time management, my eyes were indeed opened! Where did the time come from, I thought? The truth was that it was always there. I just needed to look at my time bank account, and I had to be honest with myself. Did I have to watch 3 episodes? On some days, the answer is no. Other weeks it's yes because it was how I chose to unplug from a week of crazy. Did I stay on that call longer than I should have? Yes, because I didn't know how to tell them I needed to go or didn't want them to feel bad. Other times, it may be that I needed to stay on the call or keep texting because my friend needed me. When I spend in one area more than planned, I commit to cutting back in another place. I don't see it as a penalty, but a way to keep my time budget balanced. Should you feel like you don't have enough time, try taking some time to look at your time and obligations at the beginning of the week and determine how you will spend. Always remain flexible, but if you have not planned/budgeted, you increase your likelihood of blowing your budget.
As I sat and thought about the spending of time, it lead me to relationships.
I'm confident 2020 is a year we can all agree is one to be remembered! It will be a year that will go into the history books and be talked about among generations. No matter your thoughts on 2020, I think in some aspects, it forced us to slow down a bit, to spend time with our families in ways we may not typically have. We also had to become creative about connecting with friends and family for some self-love; you may call it self-care.
I am an advocate of self-care! I would love to say I consistently make time for it in my life, but I do not. I'm working on it. My struggles with self-care are planning it. I know how valuable self-care is, based on articles, blogs, my own life, and shared stories from others. I want to share what I have learned over the years and what I am implementing in my own life.
I want to encourage you and myself to be intentional about investing in yourself. Don't leave it to chance, don't wait at the perfect time; don't wait until you get the invite. You have to be proactive. Sometimes the challenge with implementing self-care is that we feel it has to be a certain length of time or present itself in a particular way. If we wait for these things to happen, it probably won't happen or happen as often as we need it to.
I love getting together with friends and family and taking a break from the everyday responsibilities that wait for me to wake up each morning as I roll out of bed. We need to make time to connect with others! You have heard it 1001 times, so let this be 1002; we are wired for connection. So go ahead and connect; it's good for the soul. What's also good for the soul is quality time alone. It still may be a challenge to find that solo time, especially with the current state of the pandemic, at the time of writing this. However, the need for self-care and solo time doesn't change. The holidays are approaching. Even if the holidays look a tad bit different this year, it is upon us. The holiday season can be chaotic, but that doesn't mean it has to be stressful. Nor does it mean you can't fit in some quality time alone.
Spending time alone may require a new perspective. It may require some thinking outside of the box, depending on your situation.
Spending time alone allows you to calm down, regulate emotions, better understand yourself and your priorities. Taking time to be by yourself benefits the relationships in your life. It's also a time that allows you to evaluate relationships in your life and determine any needed changes. To access what boundaries you may need in your life. that need to be made or boundaries put in place. It's a great time to reflect on your goals and priorities and access if you are in alignment. It's merely an excellent time to get to know yourself better. It's challenging to reflect when you are engaged in conversations or entertaining deeply. It's also challenging to do when you are distracted by TV, cell phone notifications, and email. It's simply good practice to have uninterrupted moments alone with the person you greatly value-yourself.
One of the major obstacles to maximizing your success and happiness is a lack of self-awareness. You know your friends’ flaws better than they do. It’s human nature to not have an accurate view of yourself. It is not possible to 100% aware of yourself, because we all have blind spots.
Sometimes we’d rather stick our heads in the sand and remain oblivious to our shortcomings. We’d prefer to believe that we’re unlucky rather than taking the wrong approach.
This presents a huge challenge, because if you can’t see yourself and your behaviors accurately, how can you grow and evolve optimally?
If you’re brave enough to develop a keen sense of self-awareness, you’ll be more likely to have a successful and rewarding life.
Try these techniques to learn more about yourself:
How self-aware are you? Do you know how others view you? Do you understand your flaws? What are your greatest strengths? In what type of environment do you thrive? What are your values? What are your goals? How did you contribute to the failure of your past relationships?
If you can’t answer these questions quickly and easily, developing greater self-awareness will benefit you. Until you understand yourself well, your life will appear to be determined by forces beyond your control.
Become more self-aware and regain mastery over your life!
This blog post may be solely for me, and perhaps I should have journaled it, but just in case there is someone else who needs to hear this...Here we go.
We as people can be tough on others. Holding them to high standards and unrealistic expectations. These standards and expectations are often heightened when applied to ourselves. But by pushing ourselves to meet unrealistic expectations, in the event we fall short, our inner critic can become ruthless.
Standards and expectations are oftentimes subconsciously created, informed by the opinions of society, culture, religion, or family and friends. Whether spoken directly or indirectly, these opinions filter our standards, goals, and expectations thus creating the lens through which we begin to see ourselves. Our lens is also warped by past hurts and disappointments, a driving force behind our actions and behaviors.
With these factors influencing our outputs, it’s easy to get caught up in the rat race of life, trying to keep up with and impress people we don’t even know! CRAZY, right? In our attempts to run the race and maintain the pace we end up running on empty, tired, not happy, and truthful pursuing a life or lifestyle that is not a true reflection of us.
It is terribly easy to get caught up and become influenced by others! It happens without us even being aware of it. For example, we may clean our house all day, every day because of the remarkably clean Pinterest houses we see. Or we may visit a friend's house, whose house is always spotless, and feel guilty or ashamed because we left dishes in the sink overnight and have unfolded clothes on the couch. We hear this all the time that social media is the ‘highlight reel’ of people’s life. Yet, we still see it and pursue a similar life. Or we see the “fruits of their labor” and now we are working from sun up to sun down trying to have the same or similar fruits as they have.
Sometimes we are working hard to make up for past failures and disappointments. Thinking that our success will make up for it. Maybe it’s wearing expensive clothes to distract from your perceived flaws or to make you more acceptable by a particular crowd. Maybe it's the effort you put into your yard because having the greenest grass you believe shows you are worthy of your neighbors’ admiration and will make you more likeable.
Whatever the cause or reason, it pushes us to constantly work and to be in pursuit of things or status. There is nothing wrong with work or to pursue goals. The problem is when we do it and our reasons or motives behind the action are unhealthy. The standard that we are to measure our life against is the standard that God has set for us. The world, others, and even we will have thoughts and opinions. However, if it doesn’t line up with the standard of God, it is not what we should use as our rubric.
Let me share this with you, God says:
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE FORGIVEN
YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU ARE WORTHY
Read this more than once because I want you to get this.
This is important because many of our actions are rooted in:
When we don’t know who we are in Christ we easily get caught up running in the hamster wheel of life dictated by society and others. Trying to prove or be loved, forgiven, enough or worthy, when you already are. Let’s get off the hamster wheel and let the standard that has been given to us by God be the standard for our life. The standard by which we make decisions and guide our actions.
I know society tells us to work hard, sacrifice is required to have success, too much white space on your calendar means you aren’t doing enough or you aren’t being productive. In the same breath, we are also incredibly hard on ourselves. We create a standard and expectations for ourselves that are too high and possibly unrealistic, and when we don’t meet them our inner critic starts badger.
Over the last eight or nine months I have really taken to journaling. It is at a point now that, when I go a while with out writing I can tell the difference in my mood and how I handle things.
In our Purposed for a Purpose Facebook Group, I took a poll and asked if people journaled or not and most said they do or at some point have. There were others that did not journal at all. Journaling has been around for a while and most have journaled, especially as a little girl. When we were younger we called it a diary. As we got older, I guess we change the name, but the idea is still the same.
Journaling is great for your mental, physical, and emotional health. In the coming months I will be sharing more about journaling, the benefits, methods and tips to getting starting and making it effective.
Today I want to share with you how I use and you too can use journaling in your quiet time with God. Journaling provides you the opportunity to:
Journaling is good for you. It can positively impact the relationships in your life to include the most important one—your relationship with God. You can journal for many reasons, but if you looking for a place to start, I encourage you to try journaling during your quiet time with God. Regardless if you journal or not, incorporating journaling in your quiet time with God will help in developing and strengthen your relationship with God, which is what God desires of his children.
Until Next Time~
Emotions are vibrations of energy that our body produces, and each emotion has its own unique vibrational frequency. When we experience an emotion weather, we are in a difficult situation or not; we go through a three-step emotional experience.
1. Our body generates the emotional vibration
2. We begin to feel the emotion and any thoughts of physical sensations that come along with it.
3. We process the emotion-We choose to let the emotion go, and we move on.
Once we have successfully moved through the emotional experience, we are free to forward. However, when the second or third step is interrupted, the emotional experience is incomplete, and the energy of that emotion is likely to become trapped.
Often the more overwhelming or extreme an emotion is, the more likely it is to become trapped.
When we experience situations that touch the "heart," think things that we often describe as causing heartache, heartbreak, broken-hearted, and sometimes as a result of that painful situation, we go into protect mode. We feel as if we need to put a wall up around our hearts. The crazy part is that is literally what is happening on the inside of us. A wall of emotional energy is being built around our hearts as a form of protection.
Our heart is essential to not just our physical body, but our emotional well being- Our subconscious mind knows and understands this. It is for that reason; our subconscious will protect our hearts from danger or perceived danger. When we are in danger physically, we hide and protect ourselves. Our subconscious mind follows the same logic. When your heart is being hurt or in danger of being hurt, your subconscious quickly responds by building a shelter-a wall- to keep the heart safe. Heart walls are created with the energy of trapped emotions.
J.Branch is a wife, mother and child of God. She is passionate about helping others live the life they desire, have fruitful relationships and know who they were created to be and to live a life of purpose.
To connect with me about speaking or facilitating please contact me at contact me.