Dealing with the Critics in Your Life

Whether you’re trying to save the world, lose 20 pounds, write a novel, start a business or get a promotion at work, there will be at least one person in your life trying to drag you across the coals for it.

At some point in your life you will be criticized, perhaps in a professional way. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept – but that all depends on your reaction. 

There’s no way to live life without critics, naysayers, and haters. They’re part of the human experience. However, you do have a choice on if you allow them to stop you from living your life.

Follow these strategies to avoid allowing the critics in your life to influence you:
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1) Find your  passion and purpose. If you were doing something that was very important to you, you’d care far less about the criticisms of others. If they can easily throw you off your path, you might want to consider finding another path. Are you living your purpose? If not, determine what you want to do with your life.

2) Understand why people are not always supportive. Sometimes the people that criticize you do it from a place of just trying to be annoying. They enjoy getting under your skin and being noticed. Other times people are not supportive because seeing you do well or the idea of you reaching a goal evokes negative feeling about themselves. They may feel bad about their own life and situations when as they look at yours.

3) Focus on your mission. Train yourself to be more focused and determined when criticism comes your way.  Use your critics as motivation. While some people are intimidated and deflated by the haters of the world, others are able to use the negative comments as a source of motivation. This way, the more the critics bark, the more you’ll accomplish. Most people are distracted by criticism. Don’t be like most people. Learn to use they negativity as a way to push you forward, not pull you back. Use your critics’ words as fuel for your success.

4) Notice that critics are a small part of the population. We notice negative feedback more than we notice positive. This has been demonstrated in numerous studies. We think there are more people working against our efforts than there really are. Most people are actually indifferent to you and your life.

5) Realize that you’re going to be criticized no matter what you do. Whether you become a billionaire, movie star, teacher, doctor, or sit on the couch all day, there is someone that will tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing. There will always be someone who wants to give their unsolicited input about you.

•  Since you’re going to hear negative comments no matter what you do, do what matters the        most to you and do your best to ignore the naysayers.

6) Respond calmly. Avoid giving your critics the pleasure of an emotional response. Respond with kindness, and you’ll often find they soften their criticism or apologize. If you ignore them, they’ll either become angry or bored.

7) Decide if they have something useful to say. There are two types of criticism - constructive and destructive – learning to recognize the difference between the two can help you deal with any criticism you may receive.Some criticism can be helpful. If you receive specific criticism, consider if it might be true. Adapt your approach if necessary. If the criticism isn’t helpful, let it roll off your back. You have more important things to do.

8) Take criticism as a compliment. Most people will leave you alone if you’re struggling. You only become a significant target of negative comments if you’re doing well. If you’re taking a lot of heat, you must be doing something correct!

Avoid allowing the critics and haters in your life to derail you. That’s exactly what they want! Live your life without the need for the approval of others. When the approval of others is what you seek, you will find yourself constantly running in circles or on a roller coster. People change and so do their opinions. One week in order to get their approval you have to do one thing, and the next week is the opposite.  Create some stability by not seeking to get the approval of others. 

If you’re spending your time on activities that truly matter to you, the criticism you receive will have far less impact on you. Just remember, you’re probably doing well if the critics are barking in your ear. ​ 

I would love to hear some other ways to deal with critics in our life or what do you do when the critics show up? Comment below. You never know who you might help!

Until Next Time!
J.Branh